“I just can’t wait…” we exclaim…
Many of us rush from one thing to another thinking what is to come will be better. As children we can’t wait until we are older. Can’t wait until our next birthday, next summer, next christmas and on and on.
My father always told me, “Kate, don’t wish your life away.” Oh the wisdom in that sentence. Wisdom I didn’t grasp until I was much older. Old enough to feel oh so tired and old enough to see my children leave the nest. I wallowed in sadness of the knowledge that I had wished my life away and with it the time with my children.
But then something unexpected happened… I heard the same wisdom my father spoke to me so many years ago come from the mouths of my almost grown children. “Mom, we are still here today. We are still family!” As soon as the words hit my heart I realized I had done it again. I had wished my life away. But this time not with anticipation but with sadness and regret. I wished I could go back and snuggle my babies one more time. I wished I was still young. I wished they were still young.
So…I decided that I will live today, just today. I decided that this day will be different. I will live in the moment. I will feel the joy and the sadness of this one day. The day that my oldest takes the train back to school one more time. I will cry. I will also feel joy remembering the time we had during his visit. Then I will wipe my tears and spend the day with my almost grown child. The sweet girl who will soon leave the nest. But not just yet. She is with me today. Today I will count my blessings and I will not wish my life away. Today I will live with gratitude for the blessings that God has given to me. I will count my tears as a blessing too. For these tears mean that I love and am loved…today.